garmachi.com

[Garmachi]

Everybody does it. There's even a book that says so. But, not everybody wants to hear it.

It always makes me uncomfortable to hear loud farts and splashy sounds echoing from the bowl in the stall next to me, especially in this button-down oxford world, knowing that there's a pretty good chance the guy who's making these sounds could very well be Sam from Art Buying, or Bill from Development, or any of the dozens of serious non-pooping people I greet and shake hands with every day. Sometimes I involuntarily glance down at the shoes to see if it's someone I know.

Just now I was in the men's room for a quick tinkle (I never poop. Ever. It's gross.) and someone was having a particularly bad day. I'm talking "Who-Does-Number-Two-Work-For" bad. It sounded like someone popped a water balloon in there. It was bad. I thought someone was pouring out a can of old vegetable soup, or drowning a small dog.

Sometimes I'm still ten years old, because the hardest thing about the whole situation (aside from trying to zip up and get out before the smell could reach me) was trying no to laugh. I immediately thought of the Robot Chicken toilet monster bit. I hope you know which one I mean.

If I weren't at the office I'd go out and find that clip and post it.

I'm all done for now. Thanks for listening.
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My pants don't smell like sunshine anymore.

[Boogieman]

Couldn't find the video, I'll look again on my lunch break.

In the meantime...he's a revist to one of my old children's book posts.





Facts about poop
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Some people are so dense.....light bends around them.

[Ant-Man]

So...those aren't free chocolates?

[Garmachi]

Nope, and those aren't free mints in the urinals either...


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My pants don't smell like sunshine anymore.

[sledge]

Disclaimer for those that might take offense: if you know me at all you know that I am not racist, sexist, or any of those other terms that basically mean that you do not favor someone who is not like you in one respect or another. So let me continue...

The worst place to walk into first thing in the morning is a bathroom that an Asian grad student is currently or just-finished doing their business in. The smell is like no other: a cross between rotten cabbage, garlic, sulfur, and bile. The stench is so overwhelming the air seems to have a specific gravity of 2. I don't know what it is in the Asian diet that causes this, but I am in favor of any legislation to label it as a weapon of mass destruction.

It would be funny if it weren't making you gag.
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Make friends with exhaustion.

[BobbiRebel]

It just makes me very happy that we finally have a thread titled, "Poop". I've always felt we were missing something. G.com is now complete.
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Shorter. Shorter. Shorter. Until the thrill of pulling through the wake overcomes the fear of death.

[meit]

[turtle81]

Holy shit, it even coincides a bit with the page quote!

I don't poop either, but what I really hate, is when you go into the work bathroom, and you're "competing" with someone else in another stall. There comes that point when you realize you can't out-wait the other person, nor is it an option to come back later and hopefully have the place to yourself. Yeah, good times.
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"To be early is to be on time, to be on time is to be late, to be late is to be left." - Mr. Bennett

[Magnum]

I've been wondering where to put this thought and this is a very appropriate strand.

Do you crumple your toilet paper or fold it? I being right brained crumple. And someone else in this house who is very left brained folds.

How about the rest of you?? Does fold or crumple have anything to do with your brainedness?
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I have lots to do....
I have nothing to do....

[Garmachi]

Paper? What paper?


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My pants don't smell like sunshine anymore.

[Boogieman]

I'm a folder, it's more efficient and easier on the septic system.

Crumplers are the same folk who squeeze toothpaste from the middle of the tube!!!



(Yeah, you know who you are!)

G'head....tell me I'm wrong.
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Some people are so dense.....light bends around them.

[dreamer]

I used to work in the executive wing at Hannaford corporate. There was a very posh 2-stall women's bathroom (as in not just pipes at your back..these toilets had full tanks with dishes of potpourri on top, full length glass mirror in outer area, etc). The stalls were roomy, with delightfully soft toilet paper that made a good forehead rest when you wanted to take a quick nap...

Anyway, I worked with another exec secretary, an elder, very proper woman who would LITERALLY get up and walk out if I walked into the bathroom. For the first few months I thought it was good timing, and then I realized she couldn't possibly be done at the exact moment I entered EVERY time...

Then I found out that in the 30 some odd years she'd worked there, she'd NEVER peed or pooped in the "presence" of another person. What an inconvenience that neurosis would be!



Re. paper: I'm a folder--and I use the handle of a hairbrush to make sure the toothpaste is squeezed (remember the old days when you could just roll the tube from the bottom?)
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Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.

[Ant-Man]

I'm a crumpler and I squeeze from the middle.

The hell with folding, I'm scared the paper will rip and my fingers will go straight through it..yeah, you know that's happened to you before too.

[turtle81]

[meit]

I fold.
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Currently reading: Pride and Prejudice and Zombies